First off, let’s start with the most important question: why should you give a shit about this site?
Because this site will help you transform your inner critic into an inner ally.
What does that mean?
It means letting go of self-hatred, self-judgement, and self-criticisim.
It means waking up in the morning, and thinking to yourself, “Hey, I actually kind of like who I am. I’m pretty awesome!”
It means silencing (or at least being able to detach) from that endless stream of thoughts that says,
“You aren’t shit. You’ll never be shit. You’re lazy. Always been lazy. That’s why you don’t have love in your life. That’s why you’re not in the shape you should be in.”
It means when some real shit goes down (like it always will) – you turn to yourself and say, “Hey, you know what? No matter what happens, I love you. I’m in your corner. I’m HERE FOR YOU.
Even if nobody else is.”
OK, now that you know why you should give a shit, let’s move onto slightly less important questions:
Who am I? And what fucking right do I have to talk about the inner critic?
Let’s get some things out of the way first.
I have no formal schooling in psychology.
I’m not a guru.
Hell, I don’t even have a car!
Here’s what I DO have:
A lifetime of experience with a vicious inner critic that would beat me down any chance it got.
Usually, it manifested in my dating life, and my body image.
When I was 16, I thought, “The reason girls don’t like me is because I don’t have a six pack. I’d better get one.”
So I started long, long years of starvation diets and crazy workouts.
And inevtiably, this would lead to binge eating. “What the fuck Zak, you’re so lazy! Why are you eating this shit??”
Then, I focused more directly on dating.
I remember one night where my inner critic was especially vicious.
I was lying in bed, at about 3 am on a Friday. We had just gotten home from a night at the bars.
I hadn’t managed to hook up with anyone. So, naturally, my mind was filled with a mixture of self-loathing and self-hatred.
“You’re such a piece of shit. That’s why nobody at that bar wanted to come home with you. You deserve to be alone. God, I fucking hate you.”
This was my absolute bottom.
Thank god, I found a different way.
Due to me acting out and doing some minor property damage, I got sent to a counselor.
That began my long process of healing.
I did therapy, for 18 months.
I read endless amounts of books on trauma, self esteem, and the inner critic.
I got into meditation, and attended multiple retreats, including a 10 day Vipassana course.
And after all this, and meditating consistently for the past 6 years, I can honestly say:
I don’t have an inner critic anymore.
Instead, what I have is an inner ally.
I’ve learned how to be best friends with myself.
Yes, I still keep pushing myself and going after what I want in life.
I’m not some “Zak, you’re perfect how you are” motherfucker.
David Goggins would never respect that.
No, I’m tough, but fair. And above all, loving.
Now, my inner dialogue is a source of strength, instead of a source of pain.
When times get tough, I turn inward and find peace, solace, and healing.
And I gotta tell you:
It feels pretty fucking good.
I won’t lie to you and say:
“Oh my god, everything in my life is perfect now!”
I’m still awkward when it comes to dating.
I still don’t have a six pack.
But what I DO have…
Is a sense that I’m worth the ground I’m standing on.
Because that voice, that for all those years, kept telling me I wasn’t shit….
Has finally shut the fuck up.
And trust me – that journey is worth it.
So join me. Take that journey for yourself.
I’ll lay out some guideposts that have helped me, and we’ll interview some cool people.
But make no mistake:
THIS WORK IS FOR YOU.
And I want you to know:
None of this shit will go away if you don’t face it.
And if you put in the work….
You can experience a true sense of belonging, and feeling comfortable in your own skin.
Trust me – it’s completely worth it.